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| Biting your tongue 'til the end is severed, The Rage building inside, Nothing you can do, for fear of what might come, Wanting to explode yet it just goes inward, Boiling Fury turns to endless cold. No release for fear of the destruction of those that see it, not the ones who deserve it. Smiling as the world comes crashing down. Peaceful, Yes, when all else has been obliterated Rage and Fury are squelched, when all that is left is cold apathy. The only sound is that of your own breathing in of the icy frozen air. Joy from numbness, the result of the internal cannibalization of hope and will. The Fake facade of a dying heart. A foray into moment specific Poetry. | | |
| AC-CENT-TCHU-ATE THE POSITIVE (Mister In-Between)
(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
(To illustrate his last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do
Just when everything looked so dark)
Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, do not mess with Mister In-Between
Do you hear me, hmm?
(Oh, listen to me children and-a you will hear
About the elininatin' of the negative
And the accent on the positive)
And gather 'round me children if you're willin'
And sit tight while I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right
(You've gotta accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between)
You've got to spread joy (up to the maximum)
Bring gloom (down) down to the minimum
Otherwise (otherwise) pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
To illustrate (well illustrate) my last remark (you got the floor)
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they say (what did they say)
Say when everything looked so dark
Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No! Don't mess with Mister In-Between
Sometimes we just need to be drug kicking and screaming to look at the positive!!! | | |
| Why do people try to put words in your mouth when you try to express that they have upset and then they walk away all pissed off over something that was never said and was thought up in their own little mind. When in fact the person was actually being condesending to you in their holier than thou attitude. They think they always know what is better for you even though you have your own life experinces to make informed decisions about things. Its a prime example of everybody having an opinion and them thinking because they have one everyone should know about. OK, enough bitching for now. | | |
| Damn, I hate unemployment. Ok, so I took a few weeks to get some well deserved R&R before getting into the job hunting hard and heavy, but damn this sucks. Yes, I have been putting out more effort than before, but more than not knowing exactly where to go it is actually more about not wanting to completely start over on the bottom rung, and it looks like I may have to do that. I have some great experience, but I have no true desire to sit on the phones all day trying to fix peoples problems, even off the phones and just fixxing stuff is not really what I want to do. I want to be creative and I know that to do that and dive into it I will probably be having to take a potentially 15 - 20 thousand dollar pay cut from what I could potentially be making and it doesn't quite make sense yet, I have bills and debts that I have to take care of and want to take care of and $30,000 will just not cut it. And I hate sales with a passion, but that tends to be all you do on the bottom floor of marketing, but that is what I tended to enjoy(the marketing classes in college), not the technical stuff because after I figured it out I found myself helping other people do it, which is what I am really good at, but that gets really old. I also enjoyed, trying to find ways to make it better and trying to do things that I felt were more challenging and more fun. The BSG for example was not an easy concept for a lot of people to get and yet I figured it out after a few weeks and then ran with it completely, HELL we finished 10th in the world for crying out loud and most of that was my decisions, even to the point that members of my team told me tone it back and not be so aggressive. HELL NO, was I not going to back down. Now I need to find something that I can get that passionate about in the business world, where it is eat or be eaten and that I'm sorry to say is not the technical support world unless it is done by unscrupulous managers he tend to ride their way to the top on the backs of their employees. Ok, I haven't really had anyone to voice that too, thank you xanga. So maybe, I should just try that aggressive view point, except for the fact that I do have a concious and I know if I go about life that way I will tend to lose friends along the way and find that I am alone when someone comes along and knocks me out of the way. There has to be a medium ground or gray area out there somewhere, but finding it is the key. And of course with all of this time on my mind I tend to worry myself with how the rest of my life is developing and where it is going. Today, I read that one of my oldest friends is now engaged. I am very happy for him and very proud that he found himself a wonderful young lady to spend his life with. I could dwell on this and be completely depressed, or just take life day by day and appreciate what I have in friends and family, but 30 is knocking on the door and I really don't want to be alone. Three weeks of duldrums and I am just dying for a breeze. I continue to pray and I know that others are praying for me, patience and perserverance. I will perservere until the solutions come, basically meaning until GOD opens the next door for we to walk through. Not much going on here, just in a holding pattern waiting to arm weapons and make my run at the DeathStar. | | |
| Well, If revenge is a dish best served cold, then is destain best served luke warm with a hot beer? What do you do when someone's mere existence makes you almost physically ill when you are near them for more than 10 minutes? I have seen the positives in the situation but there are moments that just plain suck. Coexistence can be tolerated, but just someone's presence and then just their existence is something wrong with me or what? For those that are praying please continue to do so as not only peace about things needs to come, but forgiveness of and for both parties needs to happen. I'm not down to much thankfully, but a good day was turned into an unenjoyable and melancholy late night.
Sleep will come,
And wounds will heal,
But until then a cry for peace,
In our hearts and in our minds,
Is the best we can ask for...
Looking over the edge I see the waves crashing on the rocks below. Behind is the path I have traversed to reach this point. Running, walking, crawling I came to this very moment. Now standing with my head held high recognizing that the journey has been long and fulfilling. Having no true regrets as to the winding of the path. There have been moments of ease and moments of torture, moments of elation and moments of heartbreak. My face and hands have been worn by the blowing winds, yet through pounding rain, freezing snow, and blinding sand I sauntered on seeing the goal. Not merely a goal of the mind, but of the heart. Carrying the dreams that everyone had for me along the way and the pride I had in what I knew I could accomplish. To say I could have done it on my own would be such a perversion of the truth that I could be sent into oblivion for such vanity. No, as I look back I see every small branch, every foothold, every piece of twine tied together to help pull me along that was there for me to cling to when I thought I could not go on. And now standing here at the pinnacle of this journey about to start the next. The cool fresh air fills my lungs as I breath deep the life assuring breath that I will face trials ahead knowing that the struggles and triumphs I have seen so far have made me the MAN that I am.
At this moment, I look at the rocks and see anguish and fear of what to do now. But looking around, off in the distance I see an unlighted, overgrown path that leads further up the Mountain, another challenge laid before me... I choose the challenge rather than the fear, both unknown, but only one fulfilling.
Sometimes it is recognizing the struggle and the pain that show you the path to peace. It may be bigger than me, but God is bigger than it.
Lata...
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